Continuing with my discussion of the five Secrets of Romantic Success in finding your Perfect Partner and creating relationships with them that really work for you, here’s a reminder of some of what you’re headed toward if you do what I describe, the four characteristics of a successful romantic relationship.
- The partners support each other in dealing with their challenges, doing so with loving and acceptance.
- The partners share their successes with each other in loving and acceptance.
- Both partners derive these and other important rewards from the relationship.
- The partners communicate with each other, deeply, openly and honestly.
This, unfortunately, is not the norm as indicated by high rates of breakups and divorces. However, you can beat these odds if you follow the five secrets of relationship success that I discuss in this series.
Secret 2: Keep Your Eyes Open
As with Carina’s story, your Perfect Partner probably won’t be what you expect and you would, therefore, habitually reject them.
That, of course, would be very unsuccessful.
So you have to keep your eyes open so that you know when you’ve possibly met your Perfect Partner. Here’s a very effective way of doing that.
- Toward the end of each day, make a list of everyone new you met that day.
- Quickly compare each with your My Perfect Partner list.
- For those who seem to match a number of items on that list, take a deeper look, comparing your experience of them with your memory associated with each item.
- Rate their fits with each item on a 1 to 10 scale where 1 equals no fit at all and 10 equals a perfect fit. Record that score in the fourth column of a copy of your My Perfect Partner list.
- If your scores for a person are mostly 9′s or 10′s, meet with them again, specifically checking their fit with your lower rated items.
When you find your Perfect Partner, they will be all 9′s or 10′s.
My Perfect Partner is my wife Gloria whom I met through eHarmony.
I’d done what I just described (with some additions I describe in my eBook system) and, one day, while watching TV, an ad for eHarmony came on. I groaned, saying out loud “B….S….” But then I heard a voice in my head saying, “Give it a try.” I said, out loud, “No way.”
The next night, the same thing happened but the voice was more insistent. My response was the same.
The third night, this happened three times so I finally said, “OK, I’ll give it a try.”
So I went onto the eHarmony site and got involved with their (quite effective) process. The first two people they sent me were pretty good but each was and remained low rated on several characteristics.
The third one got my attention because the photos were so outrageous. The first one was of a woman in a white dress with a white broad-brimmed hat standing in front of a flaming sunset. I thought, “Auntie Mame.” The other one was of the same woman, in Antarctica, dressed in yellow slickers with baby penguins exploring her.
Since a couple of the attractive characteristics on my list were “open to new things” and “great sense of humor,” these photos fit right in.
As we communicated through the eHarmony process, I progressively rated Gloria 9 or 10 on more and more items. So we decided to meet. It was all 10′s from there on out.
By the way, one of the characteristics on my Perfect Partner List (taken from the movie, “Mary Poppins) was “practically perfect in every way.” After 6 years, I definitely rate Gloria as a 10 on that as well as on all 31 other items on my list.
Now, I have to tell you that, in finding Gloria, I used the techniques described in my eBook system to amplify what I’m describing to you but following just these five Secrets will give you remarkable results.
So develop your My Perfect Partner list and work it as I’ve described above in finding your Perfect Partner. If, in the process, you remember other attractive characteristics, add them to your list.
Stay tuned to learn the other three Secrets of Romantic Success that deal not only with finding relationships but also with creating relationships that really work for you.
If you’d like to learn more about this subject, click below to receive my new free eBook, The Five Secrets of Romantic Success.
https://stuartlichtman.com//romantic-success-5/
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