This is a continuation of my last post on “Why and How Do We Fail?”
In my second Blog, I introduced you to the Cybernetic Transposition Three-Step that consists of:
- Setting a precise Target that is accepted and supported by your conscious mind and all major aspects of your Unconscious.
- Prioritizing that Target so your Unconscious remains closely focused on achieving it, no matter what you are consciously doing or thinking.
- Resolving the Unconscious Roadblocks that would otherwise prevent you from reaching your Target.
And I pointed out that when you perform each of these steps properly, you have a nearly 100% probability of achieving your Target, even if it seems to be impossible.
I am continuing to focus on Step 3, Resolving the Unconscious Roadblocks that would otherwise prevent you from reaching your Target.
The Operation of Unconscious Habit Patterns
Since most of our Unconscious Habit Patterns were created during our youth, from the time we were in the womb through 6 to 12 years of age, from our current perspective, some might seem a little strange and certainly not Successful.
That is because the Context has changed substantially. As we have grown up, our lives have changed radically from the way they were when we were infants. So have our skills, knowledge, wisdom and perceptions.
Thus, what worked very effectively as an infant or a child may very well be very unsuccessful at our present age.
For example, remember when you saw and heard a hungry infant. When they needed nourishment, they did a series of things that were quite effective in getting them fed.
If they were typical, they waved their little arms and legs, screamed and got red in the face. That pretty effectively got the message across, didn’t it?
It was very important that they learned to get attention in this way because getting fed was a matter of survival. In other words, it was critically important that they developed this Self-Supporting Unconscious Habit Pattern.
Most infants develop more or less the same Self-Supporting Unconscious Habit Pattern, as you might have noticed.
Now let’s fast forward about 40 years and look at one of those infants, let’s call him Frank, who now finds himself in a business meeting, the outcome of which determines whether he keeps or loses his job.
Probably, Frank’s Unconscious Mind deems this a survival situation, running the scenario of, “If I lose my job, I won’t be able to buy food, I’ll lose my house, I’ll lose my family, I’ll end up on the streets…” or something like that.
Our 40-year-old Frank is, therefore, determined to “win” the meeting and keep his job but things seem to be going against him.
Soon, Frank’s voice gets louder and he starts screaming, he gets red in the face, he starts pounding the table and stomping around.
Do you recognize that pattern?
It is exactly the same Unconscious Habit Pattern Frank formed in order to survive as an infant. It worked well then, ensuring his survival. But having run over 100 companies, I can tell you that it doesn’t work well at the age of 40 in a meeting where someone’s job is on the line.
What was a Self-Supporting Unconscious Habit Pattern when Frank was an infant has become A Self-Defeating one at age 40.
All that has changed is the Context.
Here’s an example of a Successful Unconscious Habit Pattern.
Please, right now, just get up and walk to the door. Then come back to this Blog.
No kidding, you should really do this so you get my point.
Please get up, walk to the door and then come back to this Blog.
Now, compare your current experience of standing up and walking with what you went through as a small child while learning to do so.
You probably don’t remember that from your own childhood but think about the remarkable number of trials and errors that a small child makes in learning to stand up and walk. Remember his or her first teetering steps.
Compare that with what you do to walk now. Normally, you pick a destination, stand up (with or without conscious awareness) and you walk to your destination while consciously thinking of all sorts of other things.
You now pay essentially no conscious attention to the mechanics of walking unless you are injured. Your Unconscious normally does the whole job without conscious involvement.
That’s a Self-Supporting Unconscious Habit Pattern.
It’s so successful that you’re typically unaware of it in operation.
And that’s almost always the case with Unconscious Habit Patterns, because they operate Unconsciously, out of our conscious awareness. When that happens, we usually respond as if the result they produced was caused by some outside force, perhaps saying “He (or she) did that to me” when it was, in fact, all our Unconscious doing.
“All forms of self-defeating behavior are unseen and unconscious, which is why their existence is denied.”
- Vernon Howard
However, we sometimes become consciously aware of the operation of our Self-Defeating Unconscious Habit Patterns after the fact.
One example of that is when we say, “That pressed my hot button.”
Once triggered, our Self-Defeating Unconscious Habit Pattern takes over and runs us, out of our conscious control.
This Unconsciously Automated Behavior is the basis of all addictions including the more normal ones such as overeating, overworking, doing-for-others-at-the-expense-of-ourselves and living beyond our means as well as the more extreme ones such as alcohol and drug addiction.
In fact, our Self-Supporting Unconscious Habit Patterns are also addictions that are very difficult to consciously change. The only difference is that we like the results.
“When our habits become so entrenched that we can’t (consciously) get out of them, they are, for all intents and purposes, addictions…
Just take a look at your everyday addictions to see how true this is. If the first thing you do in the morning is swing your feet onto the floor, then put on your slippers, first the left and then the right, stop.
Next time, put your right slipper on, then your left; and not only that, swing off the other side of the bed.
When you start interrupting your patterns, you’ll be shocked at how odd it feels, and you will think, ‘I’m really out of sync with myself today.’ Why? Because you are breaking out of the mold, you are out of the rut, and you are refocusing.”
- John-Roger
Try this yourself and you’ll see what I mean.
It is very difficult to consciously change what works for you even if you know, intellectually, a better alternative.
That’s one reason why the wisdom in self-development books and course usually goes un-implemented.
Yet the readers of my books, users of my self-paced training program and participants in my coaching programs do change what works for them into something that works much better, easily and quickly.
How Can You Change Your Unconscious Habit Patterns?
Using Cybernetic Transposition, you home in on the aspect of your Unconscious that expresses the Unconscious Habit Pattern you want to change. Then you show it a new way of responding to the same situation, doing so through a Process that actually causes it to permanently change.
We are exactly where we have (unconsciously) chosen to be… To change what you get you must change who you are.
- Vernon Howard
Changing who you are Unconsciously is what I am talking about.
In my next two Blogs, I am going to discuss that process in some depth. So please stick around.
What We Just Covered
In this Post, I have explained how we create Self-Defeating Unconscious Habit Patterns how they operate. In my next Posts, I will explain how to permanently change them into Self-Supporting ones.